Key & Peele – Fighting Meegan’s Battles

– [sighs] – [clears throat] – CAN YOU TOTALLY CHILL OUT? – NO, I’M SO ANNOYED RIGHT NOW. CAN YOU,.


– [sighs]
– [clears throat] – CAN YOU TOTALLY CHILL OUT?
– NO, I’M SO ANNOYED RIGHT NOW. CAN YOU, LIKE, NOT TALK TO ME
FOR, LIKE, A SECOND? LIKE, THAT’D BE GREAT.
THAT’D BE FINE. THAT’D BE FINE BY ME. WHAT?
OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU SERIOUS? THIS IS BULL[bleep].
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE THE PROBLEM WITH LETTING
TWO MORE PEOPLE IN? – CHECK YOUR GIRL, BRO. – I’M SORRY.
– EXCUSE ME, WHAT DID YOU SAY? “CHECK YOUR GIRL”? UH-UHH,
IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT. NO ONE CHECKS ME
BECAUSE I’M NOT LUGGAGE. OKAY? SO YOU CAN GO
[bleep] YOURSEE-ELF. – MEEGAN, SERIOUSLY, TWO MORE PEOPLE ARE GONNA
COME OUT IN A COUPLE OF SECONDS, AND THEN WE CAN GO IN. – NO!
LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. WHAT WAS IT LIKE
BEING INTHE GREEN MILE?– HE WASN’T INTHE GREEN MILE!HE CLEARLY WASN’T
IN THAT MOVIE. – WHAT DOES TOM HANKS’S PENIS
FEEL LIKE? – MEEGAN!
– MOREOVER, HOW DOES IT FEEL WHEN SWARMS OF BEES
ARE COMING OUT OF YOUR FACE? – SERIOUSLY, I’M SORRY.
IT’S, LIKE, HER FAVORITE MOVIE. – DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR ME! YEAH, THIS IS NICE,
THIS IS NICE. YOU LOOK LIKE COMMON MEETS
THE INCREDIBLE HULK. – MEEGAN–
– WHEN YOU BROUGHT THE FRANKINCENSE TO BABY JESUS,
DID THEY, LIKE… – OH.
– MAKE YOU STAND OUTSIDE THE BARN
BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO BIG, OR DID THEY INVITE YOU IN
WITH ALL THE OTHER ANIMALS? DON’T FLARE YOUR NOSTRILS
AT ME, OKAY?
– HE’S– – DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW IMPOLITE THAT IS? – HE HASN’T MOVED HIS NOSTRILS
ONCE SINCE WE GOT HERE. – I SAW THEM MOVE!
– THEY DID NOT MOVE, MEEGAN. – THEY FLARED! – MEEGAN, THEY [bleep]
DID NOT MOVE! – YOUR NOSTRILS FLARED MORE THAN
A SURVIVOR FROM A BOAT ACCIDENT. – WHAT? – HE’S NOT EVEN LOOKING ME
IN THE EYES. OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? IF YOU’RE JUST GOING TO CONTINUE
TO BE A LITTLE PRICK, YOU’RE GONNA GET YOUR ASS
KICKED. – DON’T TOUCH HIM, MEE–
MEEGAN. – [scoffs]
CRAZY BITCH. – [gasps] [squeaks] – [sighs] OH! – I TOTALLY LOVE MY NAILS
RIGHT NOW. I’M SO OVER EVERYTHING
RIGHT NOW, OVER THE FLOOR,
I’M OVER THE SKY, I’M OVER YOU, OVER THAT PUSSY BACK THERE. YOU’RE A PUSSY! – MEEGAN, SERIOUSLY.
– WHATEVER. – [makes kissing sounds] – NICE LEGS, LITTLE LADY.
[laughter] – UM, EXCUSE ME? – OH, GOD! – HEY, WHAT DID YOU SAY? WHAT THE [bleep]
DID YOU JUST SAY? YOU GUYS COME BACK HERE WITH
YOUR LITTLE ITTY-BITTY DICKS. – YOU BEST CONTROL YOUR LADY. – YUP.
– [gasps] EXCUSE– “CONTROL YOUR LADY”?
NO, HE DOESN’T CONTROL ME, ‘CAUSE LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING, I’M NOT A REMOTE. – MEEGAN, BABY,
CAN WE JUST LET THIS GO? – NO, I’M TALKING TO THE PUSSIES
OF ANARCHY RIGHT NOW. – OH, BOY.
– YEAH, YOU. WHY DON’T YOU ALL
GATHER YOURSELVES, AND WHY DON’T YOU JUST GO
AND FIGURE OUT A WAY TO [bleep] ON EACH OTHER’S
LEATHERY PENI. – HEY, [bleep] YOU, BITCH!
– [gasps] – OH, NO.
– [squeaks] – [sighs] IT’S NOT EVEN THE PLURAL
OF “PENIS.” [punching thud]
– YEAH! [thugs laughing] – I’M THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD! YES!
I FEEL INVINCIBLE! LIKE I HAVE SUPER POWERS
OR SOMETHING. HA HA! YOU HEAR THAT,
ALL YOU [bleep] OF THE WORLD? I CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT,
AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME. – BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE TO
FIGHT YOUR OWN FIGHTS, YOU CRAZY BITCH!
– [gasps] – OH, BOY.
– [squeaks] – OH, NO. – [squeaks] – [sighs] UGH! OH. – NOTHING CAN STOP ME!

100 thoughts on “Key & Peele – Fighting Meegan’s Battles”

  1. “Don’t flare your nostrils at me oooii??”

    “He hasn’t moved his nostrils once since we got here.”

    “I sAW tHEm MOvE!!”😭😭😭

  2. Megan is very annoying. I don’t like watching any skits she’s in. She has the same voice as annoying gay men who can’t fucking shut up!

  3. Used to love you guys till the whole “id never hire a white guy to lead my movies” bulshit .. can’t believe some of my favorite guys turned out to be racist pieces of shit 🖕🏻

  4. so I have a question. If you're with your lady and some 4 dudes doing that to her like in the video, what're you gonna do ?

  5. Oh my god, more of these Meegan sketches please! She's hilarious, and though she doesn't fight, at least she doesn't let guys on the street catcall her and get away with it. I keep forgetting Meegan's a guy in a wig!

  6. Kay sounds like some Hollywood actor here and I can't put my finger on it, somebody please help me!! It's driving me crazy haha

  7. This is how games work but the white knight doesn’t want to be one here and the thot has more insults than calling someone a child molester

  8. Exactly why I don’t like fucking around with women because they act out like this and expect the man to protect them. Bitch have you heard of a filter? Men please control your women don’t let these women boss you around. Especially a fat bitch💯

  9. All these comments about “there’s actually girls like this out there” bruh I’ve seen more guys act like this than girls.

  10. Peele is such an amazing actors I forget it’s him playing the role! But for real though this is a perfect example of many toxic relationships and narcissism.

  11. The crazy thing is i have to keep reminding myself that that's jordan peele and not some actual chick named meegan

  12. i love how andre saying "it's not even the plural of penis" when hes not correcting or arguing with the pussies of anarchy reluctantly swinging his fists lol hes giving an argument towards meegan while looking at them. lol

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