Jordan Peterson – How To Fight Social Anxiety

Let’s say you’re socially anxious. Okay so, what happens when you’re socially anxious? You go to a party, your heart’s.


Let’s say you’re socially anxious. Okay so, what happens when you’re socially anxious? You go to a party, your heart’s beating Why? The party is a monster. Why? Because it’s judging you. And its judging you, it’s putting you low down the dominance hierarchy. Because that’s what a negative judgement is And that interferes with your sexual success. And that means that you are being partially evaluated by nature itself Right, so you aren’t confronting the dragon of chaos when you go into the social situation. And so what you do You’re like this, you hunch over. And that’s low dominance, I’m no threat He well that’s not gonna get you very far You know, but that’s a logical thing to do, in, in the, in the face of a tyran “I’m no threat” You know, you look at the king and you’re dead. I’m no threat, I’m hunched over. And then what’s happening internally “How and what are people thinking about me, what are people thinking about me.” “Am I looking stupid?” “Am I looking foolish, geez I’m awkward, I hate being here, man I’m sweating too much.” It’s all, internalized. Right, it’s all self-focused. The, the, the eye isn’t worki-. The eye isn’t working! What do you tell people stop, dont stop thinking about yourself, cuz you cant It’s like, dont think of a white elephant White elephant, white elephant, white elephant You can’t tell someone to stop thinking about something because they get caught in a loop What you do with socially anxious people is you say Look at other people Look at them Right. Why? ’cause if you look at them you can tell what they’re thinking And, unless you’re terribly socialized, and some people are, some people have no social skills and so The reason they cant go to party is because they dont know how to introduce themselves. Like they’re just, noone ever taught them how to behave And so they’re really good- candidates for behaviour therapy. ‘Cause you walk them through the process of how you actually- manifest the procedures that are associated with social acceptability. But most people aren’t like that, they have the ability So, if they’re really introverted and higher neurotism(?). They can usually talk quite well to someone one on one. Why? ‘Cause they look at them! but/what if I look at you It’s another thing to do if you’re ever speaking to a group of people Never! speak to the group of people. That doesnt exist! you talk to individuals. And then they reflect for you the entire group! ‘Cause theyre all entrained So you look at one person They broadcast to you what everyone is thinking and, you know how to talk to one person So it’s easy So As soon as you focus on the person, not you Push your attention outwards, use your eyes to push your attention outwards And you start watching, well then all your automatic mechanisms kick in And you stop being awkward. ‘Cause if we’re talking, and I’m looking here- I dont know what you’re gonna do next And I’m gonna put, dysjunctions, they’re like a- Bad chords in the melody of our- Of our conversation. And the reason is I’m not paying attention. So that’s why they eye is at the top of the pyramid. It’s like- The thing that enables you to win the set of all possible dominance hierarchy is the eye! Pay attention Pay attention. That’s the critical issue. That’s why the egyptians worshiped Horus That’s why Horus was the thing that rescued Osiris from the depths It’s the capacity to pay attention What do you pay attention to most? *CLAP* What your right hemisphere signals as anomalous It attracts your attentions. Like, this isn’t going quite right I’m not looking at that. WRONG! That’s what you look at. That’s what you look at. What’s not going right, because that’s- See that’s the terrible monster that might eat you but it’s also the place where you get all of the information. So That’s why it’s useful to have discussions with your enemies Because they will tell you things you do not know And that’s such a great thing because, if you don’t know them hewell you’re not very smart, are you? You know, there may be a time when you go somewhere and that’s the thing you need to know And maybe your enemy will tell you why you are such a fool You know, and a bunch of other things that are not true too but Even one thing that’s accurate, it’s like, yeah thank’s very much man, maybe I’ll do some work on that And, I wont have to carry that forward So, and then thats part of the reason again why the terrible predator- It’s always the terrible predator that has the gold. It’s like, it’s the person that delivers the message that you do not want to hear So it’s rough, it’s rough. But it doesnt matter, life is rough.

100 thoughts on “Jordan Peterson – How To Fight Social Anxiety”

  1. People that suffer from anxiety are actually weak and full of shit . These people should be thrown in prison for the rest of their miserable life .

  2. "Lets say youre socially anxious"
    – Guilty. Lets go.
    "The party is a monster"
    – Err, Okay I guess
    "Its judging you. Its putting you lower on dominance hierarchy"
    – It is?
    "Interfering with your sexual success"
    – wait a sec-
    "That means youre partially evaluated by nature itself!"
    – Wait, what?
    "So you are confronting The Dragon of Chaos in that social situation"
    – Wait whaaaaaaaat?

  3. basically this is youtube recommendations roasting me in an absolutely scathing way and i find it to be incredibly uncalled for. not cool susan.

  4. Everyone is a bit socially anxious. I work at a supermarket and only 1/10 people say hello back when I say hello. I can see in some of customers expressions that they didn’t like me saying hello to them, because they’d rather like being uninterrupted. Let’s face it, most people like sticking to themselves in a public/unknown place like a supermarket.

  5. That situation would give me anxiety cause I can’t handle when a teacher looks at me for a long time while explaining something, it makes me anxious and unable to concentrate

  6. see I would just think: that’s too much work with little I could potentially get in return, so why bother doing it (literally what can I get from social interactions in a party situation? sex? there’s tinder for that I don’t even have to talk)

  7. Facing your enemy – that is when you find your self-worth on your own responsible terms. That's where you build strength – from that roughness and suffering. It's a necessary process to learn how to cultivate strength and insight/wisdom.

  8. My social anxiety was fucking crippling, so bad that the nerves I had before moving into university caused me to have a suicidal thoughts for the month leading up to it. All that for nothing, socialising is not as bad is you're mind makes out it out be. Why? Because there are others who experience the same thing, if you can internalise that you're not alone, it really helps.

  9. Ooooh
    An excuse!!
    From now on instead of saying i'm going to a party, i'll say im confronting a dragon of chaos instead

  10. My gf has social anxiety. She sometimes hyperventilates and gets hot flushes. She feels like everyone is looking at her. How can I help her? She wants to go out and she’s already going with me to watch a World Rugby 7s game in a stadium, but how can I help her with other scenarios? Going shopping or going out?

  11. I have a favourite memory: I was at a party when I was 17, absolutely scared to hell and back. My anxiety was going off, every time my friend (who was extremely outgoing) would find someone they know, I would get scared that I was going to be left alone for a second and people would think that I had no friends or the weird kid at the party. I also was against drinking so before the party I had made some fake beers with lemonade inside, so I would pretend that the alcohol was kicking in and I had to go to the toilet. Once there I could finally relax (funny thing was, the toilet was in the middle of this party, just a few plaster boards strung up around a toilet hole- absolutely disgusting). All of a sudden this guy and girl comes slamming through the door breaking the lock and knocks past me, puking all over the toilet. That day since I never took refuge in a toilet.
    Social anxiety cured.

  12. The worst thing is when a teacher calls on you out of nowhere. My anxiety gets so bad I feel like I’m going to pass out

  13. Propranolol helps

    Edit :.. I have used excessive amounts of alcohol and prescription drugs my whole life, I left school and wandered for years but managed to get my own house by 24 and retired at 29.. I didn't win the lottery 😁 but I discovered permaculture. Permaculture has enabled me to send my kids to the best schools. I am introverted and still have social anxiety due to my lifestyle. Most people have never encountered someone like me.

  14. I guess Fear-Attack-Disorder and Social Anxiety are two different things, i've experienced these attacks, out of nowhere, but i somehow battled it over time, and it actually made me stronger, i believe that these mental problems are a stepping stone to a better self. I've turned it into my favor, and used all this energy to better my life and fulfill my dreams, so anyone out there going through bad times, realize that this is a stepping stone this is a opportunity to better your life. Use this energy, i know it sounds easy, but i did it, so can you.

  15. TIP- do something really hard, join a sport or accomplish something great, I used to have serious issues but after I took wrestling for a season it wiped that away, you come to new realisations and you feel confident and proud that you did something

  16. I can't even walk normally in the streets i feel like ppl are watching me i always need something like a stress ball in my hand or someone walk with me

  17. I’m turning 27 this year and I’ve had social anxiety for as long as I can remember. It really wears you down and wreaks havoc on your self esteem.

    Wish there was a cure for this. 😞

  18. I have a wedding speech Saturday and I'm nervous 😐 My brother getting married so I cant get out of it. Peterson's vid helps me a lot

  19. I have really have anxiety and diagnosed with anxiety disorder I was so fed up of everyone treating me different so I got a job in a really busy place full of people so I could get used to begin around loads of people and when I feel awkward I tell myself positive thoughts and I have become so much better with social awkwardness and self confidence dont hide from your fears go to them

  20. Go to a club with a friend do mdma and talk to strangers with your friend in the back just so ur save… It fixed my Asperger's and turned me extrovert

  21. Wtf, This man just taught me the most valuable information in 5 minutes. School never did this to me, And I learned this for free. Jordan Peterson videos are life-changing.

  22. Speaking from experience I can relate to this. I am very introverted and I think very differently. A man approached me seemingly drunk and seem to be in a gang(had lots of tattoos). I was at a bus stop and I sat down. He comes at me asking me for a cigarette and I told him I don’t smoke. Then he became annoyed and said I don’t wanna check on your pockets but I will if I have to but I knew that wasn’t gonna happen. The last thing I want him to do is either rob me or hit me. He kept trying to touch me try’s to give high fives when I did not want to. Yes I was scared he started to film me while he angrily asks for cigarettes. I sat in fear and that’s probably what he wants it too, but he kept his left hand in his pocket. My last concern was if it’s a knife. He started to strike his hand at mine Thats when I felt the andreline kick I did not know what to do, I’m not familiar in this kind of situation. I was just waiting for my bus to come so I can go home. I looked down on him I was afraid my body could not stop shivering caused from stress. I decided I had enough I was either gonna fight him or run away. I decided to look at him while standing. I remember grinding my teeth till it bleed out of fear, I had some involuntary movements. I was weirdly scared and I couldn’t think calmly I simply didn’t know what he had in his pocket. I shouted at him telling him to leave me alone. While trying not to escalate things with violence first. He still seems to want something from me. I pushed him over the road and then later on he went his way. Thinking back while getting home I thought maybe I should go find him break his legs cause I legit was scared. My shivering did not stop, an awful feeling. But I went to sleep cus I had school.

  23. I wonder what would happen if Jordan B. Peterson’s pants dropped in the middle of class and he would be standing there with his dick out. Would he shrug it off and start staring back at everyone’s crotches with the power of the eye and not give a fuck or would he actually feel or even worse, show shame?

    Because everytime I enter a party I sure try so, but no matter how hard I stare, everyone seems to keep on judging me for walking in to a party naked.

  24. I like how he differentiates between those who have social ability but are still anxious, and those who don't have social skills and will need behavioural therapy. The two types of social anxiety are very different and have different solutions.

  25. It's amazing that people would try to paint this guy as some far right nut. He seems incredibly kind & really intelligent

  26. Holy shit I've been going about this the wrong way this entire time, this actually helps a lot. Next challenge is to regain my social skills since I have had anxiety for so long I lost most of my social skills

  27. It’s important that you don’t let social anxiety take over your life. I go to party’s every week and push myself extra into social situations. If it’s going to the point it affects your daily life, I’d recommend you to go on therapy. Social Anxiety is beatable, only you’ll have to be prepared to face your worst fears. But that’s okay, you’ll realize those fears are so unreal.

  28. ITS AN ILLUSION, I ASKED FOR ONE LAST TIME TO END ALL OF THESE ILLUSIONS IN MIND , WHY DID I BORN? , I REALISED I WAS BORN TO BE LEGEND , FEARLESS, AND HAPPY so why am i scared to every bit of life , cowardness , anxiety and whatever it is , is just an illusion

  29. There are no real friends ok take that advice from people who you label as friends arent friends because they will never care about you first they come first its very rare to find someone who actually cares. So stay strong have a relationship yeah but don’t trust all the way.

  30. Why tf is this on my recommended, I don't have social anxiety but still felt like I learned something. If you do have social anxiety and need to talk to someone, DM me on Insta: Jwnsteven

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